My daughter just recently really discovered gravity. By discover, I mean that she understands that if she releases something from her high chair it will accelerate toward the ground at 9.8 m/s^2 until its hits the ground with a thud. A satisfying thud. At first, I was super impressed with her. She’d do experiments dropping everything from blocks to carrots to puffs cereal to see if they all had the same effect. She was a little Isaac Newton sitting under an apple tree and realizing that:

\[ F = \frac{G \cdot m_1 \cdot m_2}{r^2} \]

She was my little scientist. There was wild wonder in her eyes. Clearly she was gonna figure out quantum gravity when she was older.

Unfortunately, this lasted for about 10 minutes. Then life became like this Andy Sandberg music video aptly titled “Throw it on the Ground”.

I don’t know what his inspiration was for his song, but it sure could’ve been an infant. Andy Sandberg if you’re reading, here’s some new verses:

What is stuff? 
A mother-fu**in puff? 
Too bad that I’m full 
I’m gonna throw it on the grounddd!!!

I used to like this toy 
but now i’m bored of it 
I’m gonna scream as 
I throw it on the grounddd!!!

Thanks for this bottle bitch
Watch me as I chug it 
I’m all done now, so guess what? 
Happy birthday to the grounddd!!!

These UGGs are cute 
but now I’m really hot 
I’m gonna pull ’em off my feet 
And throw it on the ground!!!

Cause I’m an infant! 
And that’s what I do! 
I throw it on the grounddd!!!

Quantum gravity will have to wait. Here’s a picture after every meal. She just wants me to pick that stuff up so she can throw it on the ground again. It’s a ploy, I’m not falling for it again.